86, 400 Seconds

There are a few things on this earth that all the money in the world cannot buy. The first thought that comes to mind is that thing called love. Yes, “you can’t buy real love”. So true but in this article good guess but wrong answer.

How about a nearly priceless Leonardo da Vinci? Or the Hope Diamond? Or, better yet, what about the extremely rare Kadupul flower found in forests of Sri Lanka where it only blooms at midnight and perishes before the dawn? Now that’s very rare without argument.

Again, incorrect to all the above. Okay you must be contemplating where is this trivia game going.  Yes, I have an unfair advantage as the author of this game. What I am referring to is the great equalizer of the Universe – where the poorest person is matched evenly with the wealthiest people.

If you haven’t guess yet, drum roll please … quite simply your money cannot buy the most precious commodity we call “Time”.

Each day as we begin the new day by stepping out of bed, the clock continues to tick, tock, tick, tock advancing by the second, the minute and the hour. All of us without exception is delivered the same opportunity with the gift of time. Actually, the clock starts ticking even before we awaken to live out our new day. Regardless of if you are rich or poor, whatever your background, ethnicity, culture or race the slate starts cleaning every 86, 400 seconds.

Okay, so how do you get more of it? The truth is you can’t, no one can expand the time we’re given.  But you say, “so and so at my job seems to get all his or her work done way before I take my first break, how do they do it?” Or “I have to pick up Susie from the babysitter, then go grocery shopping then work on that report I didn’t finish at work and on and on etc.” Is this you?  The bottom line is you probably say to yourself, “I just don’t have the time.  I can’t seem to get ahead. What am I going to do with all this work but no time to do it?” An overwhelming sensation of stress with a dash of anxiety takes over.

Needless to say, we must become more productive with the time given us. How we spend our time is the key. This can pertain to our work lives or personal lives. Although the emphasis on many articles and books chooses the former or latter as separate issues. I aim to differ because more often than not I believe conflict exists within the totality of our non-sleep time on a given day. Admittedly, yes, they can be mutually exclusive where one does not take away from the other. My mission is to focus on both as a life/work balance issue. Let’s face it, we don’t live in a vacuum, usually one or the other demands our attention either on a rotating basis or worst-case scenario – simultaneously besieging our precious time with stress and guilt. The end result when we need to go left, we go right and vice-versa.

Life and work balance issues are not the easiest to resolve given we owe our utmost loyalties to both our workplace and our families. I want to talk about the life part first in terms of family. I do realize some readers don’t have children but stay with me on this journey as I know your situation may include eldercare or tending to hobbies or helping others in need.  On one hand our responsibilities as parents or guardians are the most sacrosanct of all duties, we are called upon to perform in this precious life we live.

Having and raising children is one of the best moments a father or mother or guardian can experience.  From newborns to adulthood our duty never stops only mutates to the (age) ratio of child to parent.  As a father and for years a single parent at that, I experienced both joy and heartache as I attempted to do my best. Yes, I helped with the homework, putting food on the table, laughing, crying, consoling if the child is ill or disappointed and attending school and extracurricular events. Very time consuming to say the least. As you deal with the home life you undoubtedly have the job to contend with as you alternate allegiances when your loyalty is challenged by either family or employer. The workplace demands on your time are not any easier at times.

As you are aware, without the needed stable paycheck; life would be a lot worse. As employees regardless of the title or level we owe a duty to perform at the highest level possible.  Of course, professional goals, domestic situation and age play a part on our level of attention to family and job. Let’s take it in perspective. For example, when we graduated from college perhaps still living with our parents in our early twenties beginning our sojourn in the workplace we were at a point in life where there were no diversions to our attention away from work. I will insert myself as an example.

As I started out in the workforce single and childless, I could work ungodly hours at work. To build my financial empire I accepted every opportunity to work overtime and special assignments that would engulf any thought of availability of or for personal time. In fact, I worked two jobs to accelerate my progression toward obtaining as much money as I could earn. Over and above the increased income I was observed to be an employee that others could count on at a moment’s notice given no other responsibilities in my life. What personal life? Didn’t exist at the time. Like the O’Jays song, “For the Love of Money” that was my focus and building credibility as a hard worker as well.

I had extreme flexibility with my time and the willingness to commit to 100 hours to the workplace. But then something happened. My interests away from the workplace started to gather momentum. I began to engage in hobbies and activities. Family events and eventually marriage and children entered the picture. Inherently, conflict of loyalties became the norm.  Burn out was a factor to as vacations and rest to recoup seemed more important in my life. As we know, when it comes to things contrary to work not all supervisors and employers exhibit compassion and understanding regarding competing attention (to family and personal time) as they work themselves into an early grave or live a lackluster existence.

All said and done how can we balance out the life/work equation?

Before we delve into possible solutions to the life/work balance dilemma a disclaimer is in order. There is no magic bullet answer or no one size fits all solution to everyone’s situation. So, let’s go on our solution journey.

The first thought that jumps out of my mind is to establish boundaries, perimeters and rules of engagement when it comes to your personal time versus your work time. Of course, how wide or deep your boundaries go depends on your personal obligations at home and your level of ambition at work and among other factors. This article was not meant to catch every single option at your disposal but to kick start your mental gears into motion so that you don’t have to wave the white flag in defeat.

Ask yourself, what am I willing to sacrifice? Maybe certain lines of work may not be the best option for a particular point in your life right at this moment. I am not suggesting by any means you cannot have it all as the old axiom goes. Another thought to consider, “can I give this job/personal situation my best effort given my circumstances and the cards dealt or made?

When it comes to duty and responsibility only “you” after much soul-searching can set the stage for expectations. That is what you will or will not accept or tolerate. Generational diversity speaking, if you are on the cusp of retirement, you are at a different level versus a newbie fresh out of college experiencing his or her first job who has yet to prove himself or herself in the workplace. Moreover, more and more employers are operating in a family-type sensitivity zone (allowing parents/caretakers greater latitude when a life/work conflict arises) which was unheard of decades to millennia ago. Also, let’s not forget laws to protect employees such as Family and Medical Leave Act and Paid Family Leave.  Albeit forcing the issue of employees sometimes have other than work responsibilities.

Another obvious point is to meet with your supervisor about your particular issues so that the employer has a greater understanding for your situation. However, more or less many conflicts are just that just routine conflicts that render you stressed because of the tug-of-war between the life camp and the work camp. On the life camp side, will missing your child’s first spelling bee competition end the world for you? Probably not, but as a loving parent your heart breaks when the call of work duty rears its head at a precious moment in time that will forever be gone escaping a footprint in your memories and camera/recorder of choice. Therefore, you need to decide for yourself what the greatest priorities in your life are at any point in time. As the minister would say, pray and meditate for the right solution. There is no one size fits all solution to life/work balance issues.

I would be remised by not mentioning taking regularly planned vacations can help stem the tide of stress and physical exhaustion as you balance work and home life. I remember reading an article years ago in the Automobile Club of Southern California’s Westways popular magazine about many people were taking short weekend vacations or staycations around the house or local beach or place of relaxation nearby their residence. These tend to be affordable with minimal to zero costs while reducing the number of sick days, eliminating stress, and asking your boss for more time off of work.

Obligations either at work or home are part of this package called life. However, one thing you do not want to do is live in regret telling yourself “If only I did this … or did that. I wish I spent more time with …”

In the end it is important to enjoy life as tomorrow is not promised. Those clichés ring true, “stop and smell the roses” Yes, do we work, and should we work as contributing members of society? Absolutely! That said, life is precious and fleeting. Therefore, a healthy balance between work and domestic focus is in my opinion the Utopian goal. Find that middle-ground that feels comfortable for your lifestyle. So … live on purpose or rather live on a balanced purpose.