For the Love of Obsession

Do you obsess or long over anything?

It could be that blueberry muffin you’ve been craving for the past five hours. Daydreaming about a particular career? Currently, I am salivating over obsessive thoughts of a medium cooked juicy prime rib. How about that new drink at the local Starbucks? It could be that music group whose songs you can’t get out of your head. What about your favorite sport team’s sold-out home game that you’re figuring out how to buy scalped tickets. I can go on and on about possible obsessions human beings can’t get over. Let’s face the truth, we all have that something we crave. Whatever that something is we will deal with it constructively of course.

The obsessions I reference are healthy obsessions which may be an oxymoron.  It’s okay to want things if you keep your behavior and actions in check. In any case, for now for the length of this article do your best to keep those obsessive thoughts tucked away safely in the sanctuary of your mind.

It’s okay to want things. I believe it is safe to say who doesn’t want things? Life goes by in the blink of an eye. So … shouldn’t you indulge in your favorite whatever that is … thing? There is no right or wrong to these questions in the truest sense. And of course, as long as this indulgence is centered on healthy obsessions.

 Personally, as each year passes by, the pull to get what I want grows even that much stronger. Much like a super magnet in a field of metals. I think it cuts both ways; some people’s obsession grows to nuclear level while others just give up in despair sinking into a never-going-to-happen abyss.

I believe life is a series of trade-offs. This concept challenges the long-standing thought that we can have it all. Admittedly, I used to think I could have my cake and eat it to. There is a strong argument that a doable balance does against. A common balance argument is I can have a career, a family, a big house, a dog or animal of choice and yearly vacations and several more items. Is that a healthy obsession?  

But if we balance, i.e., manipulate the odds (give and take) aren’t we cheating or giving up something to have half of something versus all of it? If you diminish or lower your expectations calling it more realistic then in my humble opinion, to some degree we are neglecting one side of the coin. That said, we cannot necessarily have it all, all the time. Can we? I think it depends on the depth or category of what we hope for or wish. This is a yes or no kind of argument. Yes, I can have my prime rib and this job, but I cannot have certain other things beyond certain limits.

Is that so bad, not to have it all?

I think we can have a good life and be okay with that as long as you benefit at a welcomed level.  In other words, for example, if you accept 60% of goals met, then you have succeeded. If 60% is acceptable by you. Not to be a defeatist or being labeled a sell-out accepting less versus more, how about a realist? Perhaps, at some point you have to realize you’re not going to outer space as an astronaut if you’re not so inclined at math or science or flying large spaceships. I know this counter opinion would go against the prevailing wisdom that you can be anything you want. To avoid contradiction, I believe many things are possible and that we should not prematurely rush in giving up “the” dream or the fight for what we want beyond the necessities of life. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs come to mind.

This article is not a proposed referendum on achieving goals or missing out on the life we desire. We are all different and come in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes and thoughts. That said, we will experience different realities. It doesn’t mean anyone is better, smarter, richer or better looking. We are somewhat a product of decision making and the things we focus on. That old axiom be careful what you wish for is somewhat true.

 I believe we should live in the moment, but I also deeply believe we should frame our lives in a reality, governed by our beliefs, strengths, challenges, desires and hope. We are masters of our own personal world or at least that is the goal. As we grow, develop and age, our reality will change based on our experiences. For example, what we believe or desire at 10 years of age is not necessarily the same as when we turn 40 years old.

My point, if we healthily obsess over something then plan on making it happen. Put it on your bucket list. Many people kick that can down the road until there is no more road left, meaning, we die before we achieve that dream or pleasantry. “One day I am going to do ….”. Go eat that thing. Go travel to that country. Go take that class. Go meet that person. Go exercise.  Go love your life. Perhaps you are not in the position today to do any of the things you want to do. You can if you keep moving forward by taking decisive action toward that thing you desire. Focus your energies to achieve that goal. And make your decisions that support what you want to do or become.

The problem is we make decisions that are contrary to what we desire, instead of remaining steadfast allowing that burning desire to move from concept to reality. We trip ourselves up and give up our power to the ways of the world and to others.  I believe life is like a cat with nine lives and when that ninth life is up, meaning squandered, we reach our point of no return.  We are put on this earth to accomplish things in a finite period. Those things are up to you to decide. At the stroke of midnight, we gain or lose for that (particular) day. A day that is never returning for opportunity.

Poor decisions are akin to lighting our life candles at both ends.  The candle burns twice as fast without accomplishing our goals. At the end of the day, we are a sum of our choices. Another example would be burning the bridge before we cross over that bridge, i.e., achieving satisfaction. Even so, if we have breath, there is still hope of realizing all or some of our goals depending on what goals or choices we establish for ourselves.

I wish you well in achieving your healthy obsessions.