Living Life on Your Terms

Do you want to live life on your terms?

Lofty title, no doubt. Sounds impossible. That phrase is what fantasies are made of, right? I am a fanatic fan of science fiction, or for short, Sci-Fi. However, it’s not all fairy tales given science is still in the name.

Let’s explore empowering ourselves to take our power back. Perhaps some of us lost who we were meant to be because of some trauma or negative life experience such as, divorce, death or financial challenges. No matter the source of your pain you can move in a positive direction. Personally, I am on my journey of living life on my own terms. Easier said than done, but you can do the same.

Is that a utopian idea? Definitely a dream, a wish, a hope, a prayer, maybe all the above. How do you do that? It's not simple to do, for sure. It's simple in concept, but to execute, well, that's another story. But you can only start where you are right now. Of course, everyone and especially those of you on the younger side of life, can learn from others’ experience and wisdom in marching to freedom and liberation. Experience doesn't have to be your experience.

Where would you start first? Well, where do you want to go? Just like planning a vacation trip, you need a road map. You should determine your destination and where you want to be in one year, five years and so forth. Living life on your terms is firmly establishing a concrete goal, and not just what, but when and how. How are you going to get there?

My process to create a road map is quite simple. I like to draft outlines, brainstorm a list of wants, needs and wishes before I start writing anything formal, such as a newsletter or article, book or whatever. Your homework assignment is to brainstorm your future dream life without self-judgement or criticism. That is to write down all ideas, goals, dreams and fantasies of how you see your life as imagined, no matter how crazy it sounds. There is no right or wrong at this stage.

I digress, if you're living a life, you don't like or accept, that qualifies as not a good thing, not necessarily a horrible life but you have to see a way out of holding onto hope. I charge you to remain optimistic and start your journey toward the life you dreamt about.

Disclaimer: don’t get me wrong, your journey isn’t just about money, but without some level of financial stability the road will be that much more challenging to travel. On the other hand, some readers may need to seek professional counselling which I recommend, encourage and support if needed.

And now, true, to change or improve your circumstances, you have to do certain things to avoid putting yourself in a position where it would be highly improbable or extremely difficult. For example, let’s say you have a good job and make good money. However, there are a lot of people that have a good job and make good money. We’re talking deep five figures or six figures plus, but they're still live paycheck to paycheck. Well, being broke is not going to get you any closer to living that dream life on your terms.

The root causes of financial instability may have varying causes. This is no attack or slight on anyone, my goal is exposing the truth about people’s circumstances and how they got to where they are now. This is important to identify and resolve any underlying issues as history is a transparent guide. Not reflecting may block your path to future success. That said, you must know where you’ve been before you set a path to where you want to go. One significant cause could be making poor decisions. Overspending on homes, cars, jewelry, vacations and fancy clothes is a dream or goal destroyer of many individuals and families. It’s called living way above your means or living like the Joneses. Of course, this scenario doesn't pertain to all of you, maybe some of you.

Many people may have experienced medical issues where they got deep in debt. Or someone in your family needed financial help. That's fine to help other people, especially family, although with discretion. Regarding medical issues it may or may not be unavoidable. My point is to avoid the avoidable. If you're financially, emotionally destroyed or just not taking care of yourself as you should, how are you going to help anyone moving forward, or yourself?  Case in point, when you are on an airplane and the pilot is preparing for take-off what does the stewardess do? They quickly go over the emergency procedures such as placing your oxygen mask on first before helping someone else like a child or parent.

I'm saying part of living a life on your terms involves being prudent and using wisdom. But how do you become wise and being true to thyself without overstepping and convincing yourself that the ends justify the means? It’s like selling your soul for a worthy cause but you still sold your soul. You may not like what I am about to say, but you may have to have some trade-offs, compromise or a balance. Patience, common sense, establishing goals and perseverance will take you to that place in your life you most desire. Another hard pill to swallow is to watch your circle of friends or family, making sure only those authentic and supportive of you get close. It’s not about cold hard cash or fake miracle potions, it’s also about having the right mindset. If you are not in the right mindset, you will keep making the same poor decisions over and over again. A definite plan of action is in order. Don’t misread what I am saying, saving and growing your financial resources and a healthy lifestyle would greatly help you live life on your terms by being financially independent, healthy and successful.